They Just Won’t Fall

See I woke up this morning,
just like any morning of the work week.
It was so silent in my house.
I think I heard the train,
my dog breathing loudly next to my bed,
and the silent exhale and inhale of my husband.
As my aching legs threw themselves out of the bed,
onto the floor they moved into motion towards the facilities.
Before I knew it I was on the road,
dialing my job’s number saying,
as I have said so many times.
“I am going to be 15 minutes late.”
I contemplate going in the opposite direction,
But due to unconscious thinking and mortgage payments,
I thought better.
Being late is not something that I like to be.
But there is a pain that circulates, better yet resonates, inside of me.
I turn the knob to the radio to silence.
Then I wait.
But they just won’t fall.
I am in the middle of a rock and hard place.
I need a release.
Lord help me please.
But they just won’t fall.
Through all of the madness that I am feeling,
I still am cognizant of the traffic flowing with me.
Looking out for cops because every now and then my speed increases.
Oh yeah there they go.
Over there in the cut like always.
Thank God I was not speeding.
I make myself think of the worst thoughts because right now, in this car seat, before I turn into the driveway of my school,
I need a break through.
I need God to make it alright.
I need the youth to receive me without resistance and ultimately a fight.
I need my mind to flow with peace and my lessons to go right.
I need to be within the center of serenity and not on a constant mental flight.
“Goodmorning.” The teacher says I enter the building.
I hold my head up and swallow and respond.
I am still bent out of shape, but they just won’t fall.
As I enter my room and greet my students, I thank him.
They won’t fall, because he is carrying me.